It's the "Happy Tree Friends" again! YAH! Enjoy.

Until the next rash,


Lou Ford

FIN

The scent of a shore leave in Manila

Hello, and welcome to yet another episode of What Really Chaffs My Nuts. Do you know what really chaffs my nuts? What really Chaffs me are those damn Old Spice "crying mother"

 

commercials. You know the ones where the mothers weepingly sing about how Old Spice made men out of their sons hence taking away their "babies" away. Yup, those are the disgusting commercials that make my bile burn the back of my throat. See the reason I hate Old Spice is simple, it stinks. That aftershave is more of a nostalgic scent of a shore leave in Manila then the musk manhood. I mean for god sake it's contained in a bottle with a ship on it. This is not the scent of manhood. It's the scent of a shore leave in Manila for Christ's sake! Donkey shows Damn it! Fucking donkey shows. It's the scent of an old' salty. And moms on those commercials (everyone for that matter) Old Spice didn't make a man out of your sons, it didn't. You want to know what did? What turned them into men was hormones, responsibility, and the paralyzing fear of knowing that they are stuck in a dead end soul sucking job that results in their existence being reduced to nothingness. That is what turned your lit' boys into men, not a cheap after shave.  No, Old Spice has made your boys smell like a cross between a drunken sailor and a ladyboy prostitute. That's right, a cross between a drunken sailor and a ladyboy prostitute. Think about it.

Until the next rash,


Lou Ford

FIN

It's The Happy Tree Friends again. Finally!

Hello, and welcome to another episode of "What Really Chaffs My Nuts". I am currently finishing up the next post, and while you wait I figured that I'd give you an episode or two of "The Happy Tree Friends" to occupy your time. Enjoy!

Until the next rash,


Lou Ford

FIN

Punch a Mime!

Coming soon to a strip mall near you ...

Is work causing you to go mental? Are your kids driving you bananas? Are you suffering from a fiery, burning rage inside your heart that is almost incapable of being effectively described. Well you can never mind alcoholism, drug addiction, or spousal abuse. Forget about murdering transient hookers, going on a rampage with a chainsaw, or feasting on the flesh of your in-laws on Thanksgiving after you've bludgeoned them. Autoerotic asphyxiation won't help you. Kicking meter maids in the nuts won't satisfy that craven need for relief either. Well, never fear because "Punch A Mime" is here!

 

Artwork by Tina Anna Perrone. 12/02/2014

 Now there is a place where you can let all of that boil over; all that rage, self loathing, envy, and heartbreak. Look at that face. Just look at a mime.

Just look at a mime and feel. What do you feel? Is there something burning inside of you? Is there a stifling blaze that has been ignited deep inside? Do you know what that is? It's your hate. Don't understand why? Let me explain. Mimes are french, the worst kind of people, and just as hatred is the natural reaction humans have to public breastfeeding, the same is true for the french a.k.a. mimes. 

Now the world can be an unfair place, one day's hardship can leave a bad taste in your mouth that could last a lifetime, but we all need an outlet. We need a way to release all of our pent up emotions, but why lash out at those who matter? I mean the tween cashier who is too busy tweeting to ring up your items correctly so that you can go home after a long day of work isn't that important. She isn't, but do you really want to go end up walking the green fuckin' mile (death row) for that tween, or that snot nose douche who has to have his drink at Starbucks made to such precise specifications that Hogwarts’ own 

Professor Severus Snape would have to be summoned to prepare it? If that dickhead doesn't get his way then it becomes such a catastrophe that the angel of death will come down and take the first born of all those of Egypt.  

No, instead do the world, and yourself a service and punch a mime. All Prices are Negotiable! All Prices! So come on down! 

Punch a Mime. Why? Because Mimes are French and the French are just horrible people.  

(A special thanks to Tina Anne Perrone  for the above artwork).


Until the next rash,


Lou Ford

FIN

It's Wack!!

Hello and welcome to another episode of What Really Chaffs My Nuts. This is just a public service announcement. Remember childrens, "Crack is Wack".

That is all. Oh, wait, testicles too. That is all.

Until the next rash,


Lou Ford

FIN

Thanxsmas, the Guantanamo Bay of holidays.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of What Really Chaffs My Nuts. It's that time of year again. The season of giving; what really chaffs my nuts. So, I guess Merry Christmas is in order, right? Well, actually it's been in order since fucking October. Seriously, it has. As soon as the scary masks were put back in the closets the most terrifying time of the year began. That time is Thanxsmas. Thanxsmas is the period that runs from November to January 1st. It's when you get hit with so much love and materialism, you're not sure what's going to explode first; your head, your heart, or your wallet. If you don't think it's that bad then listen to this, there are several radio stations that have decided from to December 1st until Christmas to play nothing but Christmas music. Nothing but Christmas music all day long, Christmas music. That's sensory deprivation, or more accurately in this case subjection to noise. This season is the Guantanamo Bay of Holidays. That's harsh, I know, but when the day after Thanksgiving people go out to fight each other to the death for sales at stores like Walmart, I'd say were screwed. 

"I'm thankful for my family, friends, and loved ones who make my life a little brighter everyday. Now let's go buy some presents at discounted prices, and if anybody gets in our way, we take em' out. Let's lock and load people!!"

How about the fact that people will happily "cut a bitch" for a parking spot at the mall? When I say "cut a bitch" I mean they will literally use a sharp object to wound you so they can be closer to mall entrance, and get their kids picture taken with the alcoholic mall Santa before you. So now there's 25 days of relentless Christmas carols? It's Guantanamo Bay. Happy Thanxsmas everybody!

Until the next rash.

Lou Ford

FIN       

Friday Night Hazing

Hello, and welcome to another installment of What Really Chaffs My Nutts. This topic is something that I find particularly despicable due to the apathetic reaction that it received. So before I go any further here is a blurb that sums up the situation.

So, basically the players of a high school football team decided that since they were a team, what better way to unify the team than to hold down the new members, and sodomize/penetrate them to the point at which they surrender their undying loyalty and trust. After all, the foundation of fidelity is built upon rape and humiliation. That what makes winning teams; gang rape. In reality it's fucking disgusting, but that's not what chaffs my nuts. What chaffs my nuts is how the community reacted. That reaction was one of apathetical callousness to the news of these crimes. When it was announced that the football season would be cancelled, and that the schools football program was even in jeopardy the community saw it as over kill. Many residents thought that despite the viciousness of the assaults, and the fact that the majority of the team either participated or knew about it, they still believed that the school should be allowed to continue their season. The school itself had made that belief very clear, and openly. The students at the Sayreville War Memorial High School only seemed to care about one thing, finding the snitches. One 16-year-old student had tweeted "If they thought we hated them before we sure as hell hate them now. Another girl posted a picture of two trash bins exclaiming that they were the real freshmen team. It appeared that once again due to status there was an acceptable application of leeway for those who were seen as talented. Now I get some peoples objection to the cancellation of the schools football season. However, what happened in the locker room was unacceptable. It was rape, and that type of behavior should in no way be tolerated. 

Here is a link to an article about the Sayreville football hazing.  http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/20/nyregion/in-new-jersey-young-players-recall-hazing.html

It is important to note that when faced with the facts of the case some residents of the community did reconsider their objections. Still when news of hazing came to light the allegations they should not be have been taken as joke. The terrible thing was that a few days later another school had to face the same situation. 

Central Bucks West High School which is located in Doylestown, Pennsylvania has a football program that had been ranked as one of the top ten school football teams by USA Today. In the 1990's they had won the state championship four times. As you might guess football there is a big deal. It was a respected program that was highly regarded, that is until allegations of hazing had come to light as well. The hazing there hadn't been quite as brutally sexual, but still the actions of the upper class men went above and beyond joking, or playful "harassment" that might be considered excusable. With action such as mock "water boarding, the incidents were anything but that. Yet the announcement of the cancellation of the season was met by many as over kill as well. Students and parents alike saw it as the actions of a few being taken out on the many. There was some truth to that.

The whole team wasn't in on it. The coaches, who had all been fired, hadn't ordered the abuse. They hadn't order a "code red" if you will. Still that didn't excuse the fact that many knew of the attacks and did nothing. It could be seen in a lesser extent as a Penn State style reaction. There the cover-ups were on such a massive scale it was sickening. Here there weren’t any cover-ups, but more minimizing the situation, which was just as sickening. I've provided a link for an about the CB West hazing scandal ://m.espn.go.com/general/story?storyId=11751534&src=desktop

The reason I say that is for instance in the Sayreville case what was reported was that before the upper class men would assault their newer teammates they would turn off the lights and howl. The upper classmen openly call it "takin' that ass".  That's not exactly keeping the behavior on a down low is it?.  That's drawing attention to yourself plain and simple.   Now I get the logic behind not getting involved someone else's problem, I do, but if you were an under class men on that team wouldn't you be worried that if you weren't already a victim you might be next? I would think that might motivate you to do something to protect yourself. Instead in both Sayreville and Central Bucks West incidents many saw it as just this small thing that required discipline for those few, and not the majority of the team who had some idea as to what was going on, hence the Penn State reaction. When it was revealed that people of power knew about the abuse and sexual assaults, people like Joe Paturno, many didn’t regard it as a disgrace. Penn State students came out to protest the removal of his statue at Beaver Stadium. In fact before that when Joe had been fired the students rioted in the streets. The point is that the incidents that had occurred at both of those high schools (just like Penn State) were cruel, but what was disgusting was how excusable the incident was by others. That in my opinion is disgraceful. 

Until the next rash, 

Lou Ford

FIN