Hello my friends, and welcome to another installment of of What Really Chaffs My Nuts. To begin here is some recent shit that really chaffs my nuts!
So let me get this straight, there are packs of feral Chihuahuas roaming the city of Phoenix. Yes the city of Phoenix, the city a shitty college is named after(if you can even call that a college), has vicious, tiny, lap dogs running rampant attacking the heels of all those retirees, methheads, Hispanics, and panhandlers. That "school" is named University of Phoenix by the way, but let me get back to the point. WOW! And that's the real issue, the problem? Not the fact that only 26% of the population has a bachelor's degree or higher? So I guess if you live there you need to learn to manage your expectations. All that aside, just imagine how something like that would go down. You get up in the morning, and go out to get the paper or something when you feel a sharp pain. You jump, and turn to look down to see this ugly little dog that's almost cross eyed snarling at you. Trying to shoo the annoying little beast away, he is joined by a pack of other little monsters. They yap in rampant, choleric rage, nipping at your ankles as if they were fingers holding a treat. Almost falling down at the sharp pinching pain of the Mexican rat dog's little fangs, you try to kick one of the foul mongrels, only to have him take hold of your slippers. This in turn causes your to lose you balance and fall.
The fall results in you chipping your tooth, and spraining your ankle. As you go in-between holding your mouth, and grasping your leg those little pocket size warriors bit, and shake like the lash of a whip. Your spouse cries out in terror, the neighbors both gasp in bizarre shock and laugh in hysterics. And as those chompers with Spanish accents bear down on you with their happy wrath, you'd swear you heard one of them whisper anti-Semitic remarks in your ear. It's kinda creepy, like the movie Willard. No, more like Piranha only with cute, yet ugly Mexican pocket rocket dogs.
Oh, and by the way if you've attended a "University" with the name Phoenix in it, and received a degree, it's not really a degree. That degree is worth about as much as a degree from a school with the word "Tech" in it. It's like a degree from Devry which isn't really a degree, but a certificate for learning how to open a door. The fact that a city has it's name associated with this level of idiocy is pretty damn sad. It's a little like fried butter being associated with rednecks. It's like an entire tribe being associated with a crude nickname for a vulgar sex act like the Cherokee chin strap. Look up "Cherokee chin strap" if you want to know, but trust me in the fact that it's not pleasant. So with that I will leave you.
Until the next rash,
Lou Ford
FIN
