whatreallychaffsmynuts: May 2015

Hello, and welcome to another episode of "What Really Chaffs My Nuts". In this episode what really chafs my nuts is visors, or more importantly the douchebags who wear them. Now I could go into this whole rant about how I think that those who wear visors have forever changed and destroyed our culture.

I could rant about how I think that your existence is the cause of autism, but instead I'll let a poem written by a talented artist who is a friend of mine explain it. The author goes by the pen name 5A5 . Enjoy.



Hats
and masks
Sunglasses
and shade
Another reason
to run away
Comfy sweaters
Nostalgic scent
Wasted efforts
Money is spent
Hipster
Follower
FAKE
Urban
Bohemian
Lover
Hate
Trying hard to be unique
Yet, you are all just the same
Start a new trend
“Let’s all wear visors”
Instead of living in the real world
Taking guidance from the wiser
Demented indie punks
That need spiritual advisors
Living off daddy’s money
In Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Starving yourselves
because you can never be too thin
Poets, starving artists, philosophers
Taking any drug given to you
Rufies and more
But who cares anyway?
It’s the latest craze
Shooting heroin and smoking haze
"Cus all the cool kids do it
And I want to be one of them!"
Trust fund babies
Zombies as friends
Paying twice the price for a ten-time worn cardigan
Designer glasses
with non-prescription lenses
Pentagram chokers
Non-menthol smokers
Might as well just kill yourselves now

I'll just let that settle in. Until the next rash,

Lou Ford

P.S.

Go to Facebook and check out 5A5 page. Seriously, great stuff. Check it out.

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Welcome to another episode of What Really Chaffs My Nuts. This episode is looking at something that is extremely serious and disgusting. This is horrific. What happened was that a young woman was raped in front of hundreds of spring breakers who just looked on.

Delonte’ Martistee (left) and Ryan Austin Calhoun. (Bay County Sheriff’s Office)

What makes this so fucking horrible was that so many people were there, many of who knew what was going on and were more concerned about doing body shots than the welfare of a peer. That is absolutely appalling. What is perhaps worse is the fact that the college that the two suspects were attending only suspended them. A third suspect has been arrested as well. He is George Davon Kennedy who is a student at Middle Tennessee State University. Seriously Troy University, with the video basically pointing directly at two of your students, you guys only suspended them? You treated them as if they were two mischievous school boys who had gotten into a fucking fight at recess. This was a Damn rape, and to top it off there was a video that points directly to the two

George Davon Kennedy

students as being the perpetrators. Oh, yeah, Delonte Martistee, Ryan Austin Calhoun are Troy University students. Troy University thanks for your douchebaginess. Perhaps the only thing worse than your reaction to this situation is the college drop out who still hangs out on campus playing guitar. You know the douchebag.

He's the one who pretentiously sings about how every beer he ever drank he keeps on a shelf above his bed, or that he doesn't have to wear a shirt because he plays frisbee. No wait, the real assholes here are the other party goers.

I'm gonna play "Wonderwall" again.

Thank you spring breakers for on looking, because of that you've made watching a dogfight seem like a night at the ballet. The reason why I say that is because while dog fights are cruel and brutal, at least at a dog fight people would actually be engaged even if it was to fulfill the need for blood. This incidents bystander affect was so extreme that even Bill Cosby would be a little freaked out. This would also be his wet dream, as he'd exclaim that he put the pills in the J-E-L-L-O shot, and then remove his ugly sweater to perform the horrific act. The sad thing about this is that this "bystander effect" is not an uncommon thing. It is an actual social psychological phenomenon.

The bystander effect is basically when bystanders offer no help to someone who is in need. What many scientists and researchers have actually discovered is that the more people in the area of disturbance, the less likely the victim will receive help. So, what that means is that you'd be better off getting shived by Suge Knight in a holding cell than you would be getting beaten in Time Square. Why, because with crowds in Time Square, all those people wouldn't feel the need to take on the burden because "someone else will take the responsibility". I'm not going to get into a whole dissertation on the psychosocial aspects of this social disorder, but that is part of the reason why that girl received no help. That and the fact that everybody there are scumbags who were more concerned about tapping a keg than the fact that a crime was being committed in front of them. Why? Well, because college is hard, and they need time to unwind.

I would also like to give a shout out to the state of Florida. Florida, the state that is literally sinking. The whole state is literally sinking, and yet Governor Rick Scott put a band on the use of the terms climate change and global warming in communications and publications. That includes it's use by the Florida Department of Environmental Protection. Seriously. While it isn't an official law Rick Scott had requested that an agency whose purpose is to deal with environmental problems can't discuss something that could be a huge threat. Florida, the only thing I can say is that while bad things happen everywhere, when it happens on your turf it somehow comes to represent the ass backwards futile nature of man. Thank you Florida, you white trash version of Venice. Thank you for that reminder.

Honestly though, I think that the Bay County Sheriff's department should be thanked for it's handling of the incident. From what I know, they have have been empathetic and compassionate toward the victim, which doesn't happen as often as if should. Thank you.