The scent of a shore leave in Manila

Hello, and welcome to yet another episode of What Really Chaffs My Nuts. Do you know what really chaffs my nuts? What really Chaffs me are those damn Old Spice "crying mother"

 

commercials. You know the ones where the mothers weepingly sing about how Old Spice made men out of their sons hence taking away their "babies" away. Yup, those are the disgusting commercials that make my bile burn the back of my throat. See the reason I hate Old Spice is simple, it stinks. That aftershave is more of a nostalgic scent of a shore leave in Manila then the musk manhood. I mean for god sake it's contained in a bottle with a ship on it. This is not the scent of manhood. It's the scent of a shore leave in Manila for Christ's sake! Donkey shows Damn it! Fucking donkey shows. It's the scent of an old' salty. And moms on those commercials (everyone for that matter) Old Spice didn't make a man out of your sons, it didn't. You want to know what did? What turned them into men was hormones, responsibility, and the paralyzing fear of knowing that they are stuck in a dead end soul sucking job that results in their existence being reduced to nothingness. That is what turned your lit' boys into men, not a cheap after shave.  No, Old Spice has made your boys smell like a cross between a drunken sailor and a ladyboy prostitute. That's right, a cross between a drunken sailor and a ladyboy prostitute. Think about it.

Until the next rash,


Lou Ford

FIN