The Potato and a deep sadness.

Before I get into this I know that most of you will be reading this after the fact, so Happy Belated St. Patrick's Day. And here are somethings that happen every St. Patrick's Day, but have really chaffed me this time of year every year.  

You know what really chaffs my nuts? St. Patrick's Day. Now I don't mean the actual celebration per-say but some of those nauseatingly cheesy traditions that we have. Those are the things that chaff me.

An example of that is the saying "Everyone's Irish on St. Patrick's Day". 

No, no they're not. Everybody is different and unique. Now I'm not saying you can't have fun on this holiday that has become a celebration, it's fine However, when drunken fucktards are running around exclaiming that their name is O’Brien or Guinness; when I heard that 50 thousand times, then I'm a bit pissed. That would be like saying everybody is Chinese on the lunar New Year. But fine, that's kool. If you want to be Irish then take a potato, embrace alcoholism, develop resentment-fueled rage, and disown any gay or effeminate family member accept when you need money. That's one way to be Irish.

The next thing that pisses me off is phrase "Kiss me, I'm Irish". 

No, no one wants to because no one wants to kiss alcoholism, and depression. No one wants to do that. They don't. I mean just look at Boston, Massachusetts. Seriously, do you want to kiss that? I didn't think so. If that doesn't convince you then how about kissing Liam Nelson. How about douchebaggie Colin Farrell?

Here is the last thing that kinda pisses me off. Chicago dyes its river green. It's not just Chicago, but I'm using them as an example, and yes they do it.  Seriously, they go as far as to dye the river. Years from now there will be a surge of pale skin red haired babies, it will be revealed that just like agent orange, it's a result of all chemicals in the water. Sure St. Patrick's day is fun, but do you really want a bunch of freckled faced bipolar douches running amok? Do you really want that? If you don't then just put up an Irish flag, and drink some booze, and stop creating a fever pitched, whiskey induced violent orgy also known as a bar fight that breeds the creature known as the Irish.  And for god sakes stop dying the rivers, seriously. Stop it.