Hello, and welcome to this installment of What
Really Chaffs My Nuts. I feel that there is something I need to say.
There was an incident that occurred where Donald Trump hadn't responded to a
comment/question that had been made at a town hall meeting in New Hampshire.
The incident occurred when an anonymous man claimed that our nation's problem
is Muslims, and that our current president is a Muslim, and not even an
American. Then went on claim that there were terrorist training camps in the US,
and asked "when we can get rid of them?".
Now while Obama has fucked a lot of things up
royally, he is not a Muslim (not that it would matter) and he is an American.
Muslims themselves are not America's number one problem, they aren't. Radical
Islamic Terrorists, mass shootings, the heroin epidemic, or the economy are
problems that we face. It is not ALL MUSLIMS.
Just like not all French women are snobby creatures with hairy pits. Most
of them are, but a few aren't. (Just kidding)
Just like not all middle aged white guys driving vans are creepy, stalking
serial murders. Again, some are, but not all. Mimes however are bad people, all
of them. Moving on.
What Really Chaffs My Nuts is slut shaming and
Halloween. Why slut shaming? Well, I think that it is a disgusting thing to do
just because you don't like, or agree with what someone is wearing.
Halloween, because recently I heard someone say that "Halloween was
supposed to be scary, so why are there so many slutty costumes".
Now let me make one thing clear, first off, when
Halloween was scary we wouldn't have had fun.
It was first started by the Celts and it was the longest night of the
year. It was a time when one believed
that the veil between the living world and the world of the dead was at it’s
thinnest. Also it was the end of the harvest time. If things didn't go
well you could starve that winter. The other aspect of Halloween was that it combined
was the Lemuria festival. That was a time when the Romans would perform rites
to expel malevolent ghosts. The church had taken both of those holidays and
blended them with Christianity to attract the pagan population. The point is
that Halloween hasn't been fun for all that long. Hell, trick or treating had
started off as being a barter system for offering prayers for souls in
Purgatory. So if you want scary then let's try the fear of possibly starving
that winter because your crop harvest failed, that is unless you ate your
neighbor. On top of that let us pound it into your brain that a loved one
is stuck in limbo, or better known as Purgatory. It's not quiet hell but it
still hurts a lot. Then be convinced that only prayers, and a heavy donation to
a corrupt church will set them free. Now here's a scary costume, knock yourself
out.
Now the point of this presentation
is that now that Halloween is fun, it is that one-day where we can be someone
else, and it’s socially acceptable. I mean during that time we celebrate murder
by dressing up as killers. Granted the ones we honor are fictional, but we do
nonetheless. To top that off the ones we love are child killers. Seriously, who
were Jason's victims? Teens. Who were Michael Myers victims? Adolescents. Who
were Freddy's? Kids, dude. Freddy, Jason, and Michael are like John Wayne
Gacy. They’re just like him if he had been an other worldly soul eater, or a
psycho corpse, or a stab happy mentally disturbed mute.
Halloween is the one day where celebrating that is
ok, unlike any other day. If your co-worker who is the cubical next to you
behaved that way every day at some point you'd call security, and carry mace
when you walked to your car. So my question remains, why the hell do people
care if a woman decides to go as a naughty nurse for Halloween?
Why humiliate
someone just because of your personal hang ups?
Need a break to think about it? Regardless, here's
6 seconds of K pop. Enjoy.
That clip wasn't very good, I know. Well here is
the full song, Show+Time by Hwang
Min-woo. Play and listen for as long
as you can before your head explodes. It's terrible, horrible, and kinda
creepy. Enjoy.
By the way, did you know that South Korea is
blaring, among other things, K pop at the North Koreans due to their repeated
threats of military action? That's
right. Can you imagine? I mean there is a lot of good K pop, but just like boy
bands in the west, some of those groups are about as appealing as a high school
lunch lady climaxing to organism. The only thing worse than that is Japanese
death metal. That music reminds me of the sound someone’s stomach when they're
suffering from food poisoning.
And another thing, did you know that the Korean War
has never officially been over. There is only a truce that has been keeping the
two from annihilating each other and right now they are right on the verge of
war. The only thing that is more hair triggered than that is the sexual tension
between Donnie and Marie Osmond. But I've gotten off track. Damn you
ADHD! Alright, I'm back. Ritalin don't fail me now!
So back to what I was talking about. Now I get the fact that many people
feel that many of the Halloween costumes made for women are offensive, and
objectify women. I get that, but at the same time, people are people. Not
everyone has the same beliefs, and even if they do they don't express it
exactly the same way. Just because you have body issues, or you
were rejected by a waitress or a stripper doesn't mean that someone who dresses
more provocatively is a whore. By the way, waitresses and strippers are very
nice to you because they have to be. Why? Because they need your money. See,
beauty, style, or clothing doesn't cancel out intelligence, compassion, or a
good sense of humor. So while I get that many people aren't a fan due to the
idea of objectification, or the double standard of it being arousing only when
it might benefit someone's selfishness, or whatever the problem is. Personal
attacks on individuals, however, are uncalled for. It is out of line, cruel, and just
basically a sign of assholishness. Especially on the one day of the year where
anyone can be somebody they normally wouldn't dare, or can't be in real life.
Remember, Halloween is supposed to be fun. So please do us all a favor and hide
your judgement. Please, just like your identity, keep your judgmental opinions, and
bullshit under your costume. Anyway there is something much more important to
be concerned about; something much worse. That is the ADULT TRICK
R' TREATERS. Grown ups in costume going around to stranger's homes begging for candy, like that isn't creepy. Just think about that for a sec. And with that I will leave you.
Until the next rash,
Lou Ford
Until the next rash,
Lou Ford
FIN
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