Hello again, and welcome to another installment of "What Really Chaffs My Nuts". The incident that rubbed me the wrong way is something that is truly hilarious. It's chocked full of so much raw fucktarded stupidity that my head nearly exploded from how hard I laughed.
So, here's the deal, this truck driver decided that the best time to pull out a loose tooth with both hands was while driving an 18-wheeler. I'm not really sure what to say about that one. I'm really not sure, but then would you expect anything less in Alabama?
This is the state that not only has the worst education system, but the record for the most horrid oral care in the world. Seriously, Canadian hockey players have healthier teeth. Meth addicts in Arkansas have better oral hygiene. Somali militia men who are payed with the addictive plant khat which they chew all day long resulting in homicidal psychosis have better teeth than an anyone from Alabama. I mean just the fact that this happened in the state of Alabama pretty much means it's case closed. Hey, that's what makes this country great. If a tweaked out, snaggletoothed truck driver can't jack knife his 18 wheeler on the interstate while trying to perform backyard dentistry then I don't know what is. Maybe I was wrong, that's not all that America is. America is freedom; freedom of speech, religion, and choices. It's Apple pie, and black coffee.
It's the birthplace of Fordism , which is the idea of a modern economic and social system based on industrialized and standardized form of mass production. Look that up. It's the right to marry anyone you want, in most states anyway. Barbie is America. The Teddy Bear is America. Disney is America. Hell, the Internet is America.
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| One of the two staples of John Wayne's diet. |
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| Bruno convicted. |
All those things are American, and so is crystal meth derived from sudafed and made by people who are now all dead. Snorting coke off of a dead hooker tits is America. Pro-athletes kiss their sweeties with their fists is America too. Well, that last one isn't entirely true.
Bruno Fernandes de Souza.
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| Bruno Fernandes de Souza |
Look him up and see what you get. Just a clue, he killed somebody, was convicted, and was still allowed to play soccer. I guess that what America is, a country of freedoms and stupidity. Roller derby being a form of sexuality is American too. Oh, and I almost forgot, so is complaining about the lose of American jobs to foreigners, and then hiring day labors to mow your lawn and trim your hedges. All those things are American, but more importantly for this story, the south's history of bad oral hygiene is America.
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| Bruno convicted and still playing soccer. |
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| A Proud Alabamians' mouth. |
Until the next rash,
Lou Ford
FIN
